Tuesday, 9 September 2008

Why so serious?

Because I think it's important not to take yourself too seriously, here's an embarrassing story of how I made a complete boob of myself back when I was in college. If you like it, let me know, because unfortunately I have a lot of them.
Picture it! Utrecht 2000...

Boy meets loudmouth girl, diggs her wicked ways and proceeds to woo her (read, plie her with booze on numerous occasions). Eventually she succumbs to his charms, and after a heavy night out they retreat to his room. It's a typical male student's room. Single bed, stereo not yet hooked up even though he's been living there for over a year, framed movie posters and mirror still on the floor leaning against the wall, because wacking a few nails in, and putting the damn things up is just too much of a bloody effort.

The bed is turned on it's side to make a double bed on the floor and after a brief and awkward tumble, they both drift off into a deep blissfull sleep. Several hours later the girl is awoken by the sensation of a desert thirst, accompanied by a splitting headache. The kind that feels like an anvil was repeatedly dropped on your head from an aeroplane. An anvil with a tiny parachute attached that reads; "Enjoy your bacon, you cunt!". Just kidding, it said; "If you think you feel bad now, just wait untill you try to get up!". She tries to get back to sleep but can't, because she is just too thirsty, but getting up to get a drink is also not an option. The boy lies still with his back facing her. Her nose itches, so she gets up on her forearms and proceeds to harvest a black mixture of brainjuice and soot from her nose. Slowly, methodically, unashamedly... She studies the boogers and rolls little balls that she then proceeds to flick in all directions, when a terrifying realisation enters her mind. The mirror! On the floor... She is afraid to look but can't stop herself. And sure enough, he was staring at me through the mirror. Crap!

He never said anything about it, and we actually dated for a while after that. But the next time he asked me to spend the night, I replied; "only if you'll watch me pick my nose again". Because that is how I roll...

2 comments:

Snotishot said...

Did you eat the boogers?

Pants said...

No! But I think I did accidentally flick one in his hair...