Wednesday, 5 November 2008

Hope and fear


I've been giving myself an ulcer over these U.S. elections so why not waste another night of sleep and sobriety, live blogging as the results start pouring in. I'll be going old skool (without the streaking for a change) so don't expect any fancy schmancy Twitter action. Just refresh the page from time to time if you're interested in a live feed of my mental decline.

  • Midnight for me - 6 pm EST. The first polls are closing. Opens beer nr. 1, clenches buttocks...

  • 0.30 for me - 6.30 pm EST. I can't make up my mind on the channel I'm goin to watch this thing on. Somehow the Dutch commentary really rubs me the wrong way, even though they have some pretty smart and cool people at the table. CNN keep showing that horrible Colombian dude. Congratulations on your citizenship but please get the hell off my screen! Where in the name of all that is holy is my Anderson Cooper? I guess it's going to be the BBC. Opening beer nr. 2...

  • 01.00 for me - 7 pm EST. Oh it's on now! I'm back at CNN because Anderson Cooper showed up (and because there was some confusion on the word 'count' on BBC, the Americans on the panel kept hearing it as 'cunt', which didn't do the discussion much good).

  • 01.15 for me - 7.15 pm EST. The first numbers are looking WAY too close for comfort. I was promised a landslide victory goddamnit!

  • 01.45 for me - 7.45 pm EST. I'm momentarily loving the BBC (during the CNN commercial break), they are saying McCain still wishes he'd chosen Liebermann as his running mate, and are being wonderfully smug and British about it. (You'll just have to imagine the dry condescending laughter.)

  • 02.15 for me - 8.15 pm EST. Apparently two people called "Sununu" and "Shaheen" are also battling it out against eachother in the senatorial elections for New Hampshire. Am I a total dumbass for thinking they sound like 'Lion King' characters?

  • 02.45 for me - 8.45 pm EST. I am digging the CNN predictions of Obama's win in Pennsylvania in a big-ass way and am suddenly not that tired anymore. Go Virginia! Maybe I'll get some sleep tonight after all...

  • 03.15 for me - 9.15 pm EST. James Carville looks like a cross between football referee Colina and LOTR's Gollem. Also, why is everyone on CNN orange?

  • 03.30 for me - 9.30 pm EST. OMGWTFBBQ! Why do I need to listen to Hank "douchebag extaordinaire" Williams Jr. on CNN? When you cut to McCain headquarters I want to see Republicans crapping their pants, not some hillbilly on a ukulele.

  • 03.35 for me - 9.35 pm EST. Hell yeah! They called Ohio for Obama (no Republican has ever won without Ohio since Lincoln). Maybe I can finally start unclenching...

  • 03.50 for me - 9.50 EST. Man alive, the voting system in the U.S. is weird! Why not just count all the votes and do the math? (before anyone starts screaming at me, I understand that there are a lot of historical and political factors to take into account) But, this time it seems to be working, because it is frighteningly close in the popular vote, but Obama is killing it in the electoral vote (the one that counts).

  • 04.15 for me - 10.15 pm EST. Okay, this thing is pretty much over. I'm happy as a clam, but my alarm is going off in less than three hours, so I'm calling it a night. My confidence in the human race has grown a little tonight. Thanks America!

2 comments:

Drunk and happy said...

I did the same thing, but instead of clechning my butt cheeks, I felt sick to my stomach the whole time until they called it.

I'm so glad those Yanks didn't screw it up!

Pants said...

Me too, hallelujah!