Friday, 28 November 2008
Thursday, 27 November 2008
And for an added bonus, here they are again with the beautiful "Street spirit (fade out)".
Tuesday, 25 November 2008
It's been over fourteen years since majority rule was established and South-Africa freed itself from the shackles of apartheid. The country has been triumphant in many ways. Its people were able to forgive the unforgivable and establish a sense of unity amongst very recent combatants. South Africa has become a shining example for the other countries on the African continent, but there is still a long way to go. After all this time its painfully obvious to everyone that the rich are stil rich, and the poor are becoming ever more desperate. The still fresh wound of history and the growing unrest about this giant gap between the haves and the have nots, combined with fear and frustration about the impossibly high crime and Aids numbers, have created an atmosphere where a controversial figure like Jacob Zuma could rise to power. And that doesn't predict much good for South-Africa's future.
Zuma is a man who has stood trial for rape and several times for corruption. Who believed that a shower afterwards meant sufficient Aids prevention. Who claims that the ANC is chosen by god to rule 'his' country until the second coming of Christ, and who cannot separate his religious beliefs from his responsibilities as leader of the (secular!) African National Congress. This is the man who inspires the ANC Youth League, an ever louder voice on the rapidly desintegrating political stage. A stage where the (unintentional) "farce" seems to be the performance of choice.
Monday, 24 November 2008
For the first time in years winter feels like itself. Blistering cold, shrill winds and snow force us indoors, and as we huddle together with hot chocolate and board games, we develop Stockholm Syndrom for the hostage taker sent to us by nature itself. Sunday, usually a day for athletics and leisure, finds us confused, as the playing fields are snowed over and we wander the city aimlessly in our sweatpants, bewilderd by the disruption in our weekend routine.
The supermarket shelves are cleaned out of their chocolate milk and apple pie contents. We are creatures of habit, and the pavlovian response to cold presents itself as a sugar craving. We are cold, we are hungry, and we don't want to be alone.
Monday morning bares the ugly face of a winter hangover. The beautiful white blanket that embraced the landscape last night has disappeared, leaving nothing behind but brown slush and half melted snowmen standing lob-sided and alone in the city parks like forgotten statues of heroes past (after they've suffered a cripling apoplectic stroke). For a minute it looks like winter has left us already, to make way for the dreary autumn rains that now seem to last all year round. But as I make my way to work, the wind picks up and my vision is quickly blurred by thick snowflakes that coat the world with white. How I wish they would cover my minds eye...
Thursday, 20 November 2008
Let's face it, being a doctor is gross! I have a lot of doctor friends and therefore hear a lot of hospital-related stories. Like the other day, when one of my friends kindly informed me that she had professionally ass-fingered at least two of the people in the bar we were at. So in honour of their hard work and cruel jokes at the expense of their patients (which I thorougly enjoy by the way),
here's my top 5 hospital horror stories:
5. When doing an internship at the maternity ward, one of my friends learned of a baby that had been scarred for life. Because her twatwaffle parents couldn't decide on naming her Priscilla or Tiffany (both real winners if you ask me), they named the poor thing Prisciffany instead! To be fair this is not technically a horror story, but I find the knowledge that people like this exist in large numbers sufficiently frightening.
4. What is a hospital horror story list without the mandatory 'mystery object in da butt' contribution? I've heard of many strange finds in the rectal cavity ranging from cucumbers, to beer bottles, to cell phones, to toys (the kind actual kids are supposed to play with). You name it and it has undoubtedly been inserted in some dude's backside at one point or another. The best part is usually the patient's explanation of how it got there. "Well doctor, I was walking in the supermarket produce section when I slipped and fell on the zucchini..." Yeah right! One unlucky bastard was actually brave enough to confess that he had voluntarily put a vibrator up himself, but in the throws of passion he apparently fell out of bed and onto his bedside table, pushing the vibrator in deep beyond his reach. Because the thing was moving so much, the doctors had to wait for the batteries to run out before they could extract it, but by that time he had perforated his colon and had to undergo extensive surgery.
3. This one is kind of sad. A demented and seriously neglected old lady came into the hospital with a variety of ailments, but when she took off her clothes she actually made on of the doctors throw up (after he had excused himself of course). Her bra had grown into her skin, because she hadn't taken it off in over a decade, and she wore another one over it (for support I guess). But the worst part was in her panties, where she kept an onion to keep the maggots from falling out...
2. The next one is truly horrific and by all accounts not a fair example of the state of Dutch health care. When working in the OR, my ex-boyfriend suddenly got evacuated when a fire was discovered in a neighbouring operating room. As it turned out, a leaking oxygen bottle had caused a huge fire during an operation. The staff was forced to exit and seal the room to prevent more casualties, leaving the patient to be burnt alive on the operating table.
1. The story that works best at parties is this one: On a random saturday night a young couple enters the ER. They are both very upset and unwilling to look at eachother. They both have several deep lacerations, but the girl has them on her head, whilst the guy has them on his penis. After they've both been treated, the doctor summons them into an examination room to explain what happened. Reluctantly they start to tell the story of how, during a romantic dinner, things got a little hot and heavy, and the girl decided to crawl under the table in order to orally pleasure her boyfriend. During fellatio she has an epilectic seizure, causing her jaws to lock and her to bite down on his penis. In a state of agony and panic the boy grabs a fork from the table, and starts ramming it into his girlfriend's head in a desperate attempt to make her let go. Suffice to say it was probably the most traumatic three minutes of both of their lives...
I wonder if they are still together?
I'm going to sound like a big girl saying this, but I love to play these guys when I'm cleaning the house or getting ready to go out. I played them often when I used to DJ because it's great music to dance to as well and it never feels dated or worn out. So please enjoy The Chemical Brothers in a collaboration with the awesome asshat Liam Gallagher, with "Setting Sun".
Wednesday, 19 November 2008
Tuesday, 18 November 2008
Here's Pete Philly and Perquisite with their take on the subject that is "Insomnia".
Monday, 17 November 2008
Besides the fact that the world is still in economic turmoil, and the stupid people are going crazy over the first black guy to be in charge of their uneducated asses, Africa is swiftly approaching a second "African World War" (the first one being the second Congolese Civil War 1998-2003).
Closer to home, I watched as two of my former professors argued on tv (presumably unaware they were being filmed) about national politics, and one of them (now a spokesman of defense policies for one of the major political parties) accidentally aired out the party dirty laundry by claiming that his party leader lacked all vision and ideas. Auch! But VERY entertaining for me.
I nearly killed someone on the hockey pitch on wednesday, when I smashed the ball right into the back of some poor girl's neck (granted, the silly cow had no business standing in the goal as the exercise was to finish on goal by hitting the ball high and as hard as humanly possible), but I still felt kind of bad when they had to call an ambulance for her.
On friday I found out I didn't get a job interview I'd heard I was a shoe-in for, because someone who has a senior position there had been lobbying her butt off for me, so that was kind of a buzzkill. But a weekend of hardcore sports and debauchery soon erased that little scratch on my giant ego, and I subsequently threw down like it was 1999 (when I was eighteen and my body could still handle such devious behaviour).
So that's, in a nutshell, why things have been a leetle quiet around here, apologies...
Wednesday, 12 November 2008
Tuesday, 11 November 2008
When we were little, we were for the most part mortal enemies. She had scratched my whole face open before she could even speak and had pushed me down the stairs by age five, and that was even before important matters as remote-control control became an issue. Being three years her elder, you'd expect the abuse to be coming from me, but she was one fierce little bugger. Actually, I'm pretty sure she could still take me, so I'd better check myself, before she wreckes myself...
It soon became clear that we would follow very different paths in life. Besides looking absolutely nothing alike (tiny, blond and fair-skinned versus an athletic and always tanned brunette), I had been earmarked as the resident smartass bookworm, and she was the roughneck who absolutely owned every sport she ever tried. Its funny (and in some cases very fortunate) how things can change, because whilst she is quite the foxy lady these days, back then, she put the boy in tomboy. Just as I am now pretty fanatic about sports, but was thoroughly rubbish and wholly uninterested as a child.
My sister however, was a star from the start at the football fields and tennis courts, and plays hockey to this day at a semi-professional level. She was able to excell at these sports because of her natural abillities but also her unbelievable discipline. A quality I wish I had some more off, and that has made her surpass this old bookworm in academic achievements. I am a college drop-out and she is one kick-ass physiotherapist in the making. Suffice to say I am very proud of her, especially since she has many other great qualities like; the best dolphin impression I have ever heard (she can basically do the entire zoo), the ability to dance off-beat (it's freaking hard, just try it) and the fact that she is probably willing to push out some grandkids in the next few years, taking the pressure off me (thanks chica, I owe you one!).
So to celebrate this momentous occasion here's one of our shared favourites, Everlast with, "What it's like".
Here she is performing "Soweto Blues".
Monday, 10 November 2008
Sunday, 9 November 2008
I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for sharing the contents of your bladder with me and my hallway. Incontinence is a very serious issue, that until today had escaped my much deserved attention, but your vigilant nocturnal action has put your poignant sorrow front and centre.
Being sympathetic to your problem, I understand your desperate cry for help. However, I must object to your method. You see powerful as that statement was, it was also quite unhygienic and an unpleasant discovery for me. And I feel I am forced to halt your activism at this moment, in fear of having my front door smeared with feces, as I suspect you might also be suffering from severe poopie pantsitis.
Since a cure for these afflictions is yet to be found, I would like to bestow some relief upon you. In lieu of providing you with adult daipers (let's face it, those things only remind you of your misery in a very uncomfortable and -dare I say it- unsexy manner), I declare a pox on you, hopefully resulting in your swift demise and putting an end to your suffering.
Yours in dry dreams,
This post is as obtuse as it is entertaining and it elevated the status of my knicker contents from slightly moist, to wet (random Top Gear reference anyone?) from laughing so hard.
Wednesday, 5 November 2008
Today I take my hat off to you America. Thank you for taking that giant leap forward and proving that you are not all the ignorant mouth breathers we sometimes perceive you to be.
Here's hoping the chosen one can live up to all our expectations.
I've been giving myself an ulcer over these U.S. elections so why not waste another night of sleep and sobriety, live blogging as the results start pouring in. I'll be going old skool (without the streaking for a change) so don't expect any fancy schmancy Twitter action. Just refresh the page from time to time if you're interested in a live feed of my mental decline.
- Midnight for me - 6 pm EST. The first polls are closing. Opens beer nr. 1, clenches buttocks...
- 0.30 for me - 6.30 pm EST. I can't make up my mind on the channel I'm goin to watch this thing on. Somehow the Dutch commentary really rubs me the wrong way, even though they have some pretty smart and cool people at the table. CNN keep showing that horrible Colombian dude. Congratulations on your citizenship but please get the hell off my screen! Where in the name of all that is holy is my Anderson Cooper? I guess it's going to be the BBC. Opening beer nr. 2...
- 01.00 for me - 7 pm EST. Oh it's on now! I'm back at CNN because Anderson Cooper showed up (and because there was some confusion on the word 'count' on BBC, the Americans on the panel kept hearing it as 'cunt', which didn't do the discussion much good).
- 01.15 for me - 7.15 pm EST. The first numbers are looking WAY too close for comfort. I was promised a landslide victory goddamnit!
- 01.45 for me - 7.45 pm EST. I'm momentarily loving the BBC (during the CNN commercial break), they are saying McCain still wishes he'd chosen Liebermann as his running mate, and are being wonderfully smug and British about it. (You'll just have to imagine the dry condescending laughter.)
- 02.15 for me - 8.15 pm EST. Apparently two people called "Sununu" and "Shaheen" are also battling it out against eachother in the senatorial elections for New Hampshire. Am I a total dumbass for thinking they sound like 'Lion King' characters?
- 02.45 for me - 8.45 pm EST. I am digging the CNN predictions of Obama's win in Pennsylvania in a big-ass way and am suddenly not that tired anymore. Go Virginia! Maybe I'll get some sleep tonight after all...
- 03.15 for me - 9.15 pm EST. James Carville looks like a cross between football referee Colina and LOTR's Gollem. Also, why is everyone on CNN orange?
- 03.30 for me - 9.30 pm EST. OMGWTFBBQ! Why do I need to listen to Hank "douchebag extaordinaire" Williams Jr. on CNN? When you cut to McCain headquarters I want to see Republicans crapping their pants, not some hillbilly on a ukulele.
- 03.35 for me - 9.35 pm EST. Hell yeah! They called Ohio for Obama (no Republican has ever won without Ohio since Lincoln). Maybe I can finally start unclenching...
- 03.50 for me - 9.50 EST. Man alive, the voting system in the U.S. is weird! Why not just count all the votes and do the math? (before anyone starts screaming at me, I understand that there are a lot of historical and political factors to take into account) But, this time it seems to be working, because it is frighteningly close in the popular vote, but Obama is killing it in the electoral vote (the one that counts).
- 04.15 for me - 10.15 pm EST. Okay, this thing is pretty much over. I'm happy as a clam, but my alarm is going off in less than three hours, so I'm calling it a night. My confidence in the human race has grown a little tonight. Thanks America!
Tuesday, 4 November 2008
Monday, 3 November 2008
The Times They Are A-Changin'
Come gather 'round people, wherever you roam. And admit that the waters around you have grown. And accept it that soon you'll be drenched to the bone. If your time to you is worth savin'. Then you better start swimmin' or you'll sink like a stone. For the times they are a-changin'.
Come writers and critics who prophesize with your pen. And keep your eyes wide the chance won't come again. And don't speak too soon for the wheel's still in spin. And there's no tellin' who that it's namin'. For the loser now will be later to win. For the times they are a-changin'.
Come senators, congressmen please heed the call. Don't stand in the doorway, don't block up the hall. For he that gets hurt will be he who has stalled. There's a battle outside and it is ragin'. It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls. For the times they are a-changin'.
Come mothers and fathers throughout the land. And don't criticize what you can't understand. Your sons and your daughters are beyond your command. Your old road is rapidly agin'. Please get out of the new one, if you can't lend your hand. For the times they are a-changin'.
The line it is drawn. The curse it is cast. The slow one now, will later be fast. As the present now, will later be past. The order is rapidly fadin'. And the first one now, will later be last. For the times they are a-changin'.
Robert Allen Zimmerman, 1963
My friend: I saw this live on CNN earlier today and
wanted to share:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_K8SvhItZgObama's Closing Argument In Canton Ohio (Final Few Minutes).
His uncle's response:October 27, 2008 ReplyOBAMA RANT: A voice crying in the wilderness. He is a charismatic demagog and empty suit at best. I can understand why so many of you have been duped by him though. The double standard of our once free press is historic as they have ignored asking any questions of substance and crucified any opposition. Ask Hilary about that! Your going to get Hussein, but you are going to pay dearly for him. A little hint.... he believes the constitution is the fundamental flaw of our nation. There was a guy in 1936 who came to power the same way, believed the same things and spoke the same charismatic way. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqHlc2C895c&NR=1 In this 30 second clip, listen as Barak Obama tells and interviewer that the US COnstitution is the "fundamental flaw" of our nation!
My friend's response: Uncle D, I am not sure if the above post was copied and pasted or if they are your words. So the following is not to flame you but a response to the words written and the link, as I saw them at the time I read it. First, it is correct to say that Obama is charismatic, but to claim I have been duped by the media is more than maddening. After 29 years of life, travel, a world class education and surrounding myself by people of good character, I can tell when the media shows a bias. That is why I listen to CNN, NBC, FOX News, factcheck.org, Sean Hannity, Public Radio, Gordon Liddy, Laura Ingraham, Ed Schultz, Randi Rhodes, etc. My views are mine and made with many points of view considered. Secondly, to say "Your going to get Hussein..." is a blatant attempt to scare off ignorants in America who fear different people/cultures including Muslims. I could care less what religion our president believes in as long as he puts Americans first. People don't call me Steven and McCain isn't referred to as Sidney, yet there seems to be those on the extreme right referring to Obama as Hussein, hmm? Third, Obama is talking about the Civil Rights movement when he made the comment. I hope you agree changes needed to be made in the U.S. and I hope you agree the founding fathers and the U.S. government were responsible for 200 plus years of racism. It is a shame it took that long. Obama is not saying the entire constitution is flawed…he’s saying it has allowed racism to exist because the courts needed to use the Constitution to make their decision (Earlier today, I had listened to the entire audio segment, not just this 30 second clip). The idea of “spreading the wealth” wouldn’t be necessary if it weren’t for our white ancestors (and government) holding people back from succeeding. If making one race sit at the back of the bus, use different drinking fountains, refuse to hire a man or woman because of the color of his/her skin, and pass laws that allowed this to happen isn’t holding someone back then I don’t know what is. Fourth, to even compare Obama to Hitler... For goodness sake, after WWI, Germany was screwed. No other way around it. They lost the war, the Treaty of Versailles made them take full responsibility and thus pay reparations to the Allies, and they lost their infrastructure. When economic struggles hit Europe in the 1930's, a broken German people looked to, yes, a charismatic leader in Adolf Hitler. The whole world knows what happened next. And it's been in my lifetime, decades after WWII, that Germany is finally seeing prosperity as it moves past WWII and the Cold War. Obama is NO Hitler, nor will Americans of today allow this kind of thought to be tolerated. Lastly, yes, I have progressive, liberal social views. Also, like so many people, I believe that we don't need to be bogged down by government bureaucracy. Sometimes that means I support a Republican (IN Governor- Mitch Daniels 08). But in 2008, for my peace of mind, I will take a highly educated, civil minded, family man with great charisma and ability to inspire the American people (A feat not to be underestimated with our diverse culture) over a ticket and a party, clearly under pressure, and will soon be reeling back to redefine themselves. When they reemerge, I will gladly listen.
I implore you, vote smart, vote Obama!
Saturday, 1 November 2008
"Insert lame apology about lack of new posts here"I've been so freaking tired lately. I can't sleep, and when I do I have these weird-ass dreams. There was one where I was at some boarding school for girls, which was apparently run by John McCain. Just before I woke up, I was explaining to him why I do believe in heavy government involvement and that he should cut the "socialism" crap the hell out. At some point there were Indians and maybe musical instruments, anyway, WEIRD! Just thought I'd share...
Before I forget here are The Kooks, who are great, their music always makes me smile, with "I want you back".